There is much to consider when you decide to accept the responsibility of being a caretaker of grandchildren. It’s an emotional, physical, and financial obligation. All of the components must coincide for things to work smoothly. I’ve had many experiences with everything that can go wrong on this journey.
I am raising my two eldest grandchildren because their parents are not able to. Both mother and father have had issues. My son is still chasing his dreams of becoming great. He wants the children to have stability, and for him, that means they should be with me. The mother of his children can’t stay out of prison for more than four to six months out of any given year. She, too, believes the children deserve stability and wants them to be in my care. My grandchildren are nine and eight years old, and I have had them in my care since three and two years old.
To not disparage the mother of my eldest grandchildren, I go along to get along. At every turn, the woman lashes out as if I am the enemy. She has called law enforcement, applied for a civil, criminal arrest warrant against me, and brought a possess to my home. All were amounting to nothing but wasted time and money. In the end, the children remain with me at her beckoning.
Her family takes a laid-back approach to the children. Yes, they care for them, but not to the point of being financially responsible or giving them quality time and attention. The grandmother requests them on occasion. I send them for a weekend, and they return with church pantry rations as her contribution to their welfare. Yet, they have the most resentment towards me. I have not been able to put my finger on the cause.
My family is supportive. My siblings and my parents support them because it takes a village to raise a child at the end of the day. I’ve done it twice, so this is my third and fourth time around. The children are flourishing every year. However, I’ve made some crucial mistakes trying to protect the parents and the grandchildren while leaving myself open and vulnerable. Here is what needs to happen to avoid the pitfalls of being a caretaker of grandchildren:
Two things you need for Being a Caretaker of Grandchildren
- Legal Documentation – You need custody to be it temporary or permanent, for the children court ordered. The court does not recognize my temporary custody. This is an essential piece of paperwork necessary. Hence, my law enforcement encounters.
- Space – A designated bedroom for the children. I have always made space for my grandchildren. My son has a bedroom set up for his kids. The mother does not have accommodations for her children. It’s one reason why I still have them.
When I first embarked on this journey, I was none too pleased. I wrote a book about it as a way to relieve the stress of the endeavor. The book Communications Through a Fence can be found everywhere e-books are sold. Becoming a caretaker of little people was a mission. I had no choice but to save them. Despite the disappointments, outbursts, and reconciliations, I would do it all over again with only a few adjustments. Being a caretaker of grandchildren is frustrating, rewarding, and the best thing that I have done.