It’s been nearly a dozen years since we’ve talked. I miss you with all my heart. Everything that we shared stays front and center in my life. Some days I smile from the memories of laughs we had. Other days, I shed a tear when I believe no one will see me. The jealousy continues toward others who have the pleasure of their mother’s presence. It is not my intent to feel slighted, but I guess it’s a natural emotion. You will always be my special valentine.
I never understood your approach to being a grandmother until I began my journey. Today, I have five grandchildren, each inquisitive, precocious, and beautiful, with hints of you visible to my eye. I wish you were able to meet them. They ask about you often. I’ve shown them your photographs. They say we look alike. I agree.
No matter how much time passes, I still feel like we should have had more time together. I remember you not being ready and expressing it. I remember feeling like my hands were tied as we prepared for the inevitable. You would be proud of the middle-aged woman I’ve become. I’ve gone back to a passion for writing that I had in high school. The grandbabies treat me like a Rockstar, the way your grandchildren treated you.
Not one day goes by when I don’t have the thought to pick-up the phone to try to give you a call. It’s always after the area code that I remember, it’s no longer your number, and you won’t be able to answer. To move forward in my life, I needed to put my love and admiration for you in perspective. The fun, camaraderie, antics, aggravation, and dedication of our relationship all reside in the pages of a book.
Today would have been your 78th birthday. I celebrate your memory with a toast. A glass of red wine and a singular chocolate-covered strawberry delivers a sweet and savory reminder of all things you. You’ve helped me to understand joy, rely on my strength, and show gratitude in the life you have lived. You will forever be my special valentine. I will love you always.